Tired of fighting about the same thing over, and over, and over again? This video will give you a tip on how to break that pattern! Conflict managed well will lead to more intimacy and closeness. Click on the video below.

CounselorLetter DIFFERENTIATION & PERSONAL INQUIRY Differentiation is a clinical term, and when therapists talk or write about it, it often leads to confusion.  I’m going to try anyway, because I think the concept  is a good one, and can be helpful  for couples who are trying to make their relationship more satisfying.  It is a […]

CounselorLetter Blame & Defensiveness Damage Relationships Conflict is unavoidable. We all face it daily whether with a spouse, sibling, friend, employer, boyfriend, girlfriend or stranger. Blame is one element of conflict that tends to inhibit conflict management. What is Blame? When viewed from one perspective, blame is the placing of responsibility on the object or […]

CounselorLetter The Perfect Mate–Part 2 (“Perfect Mate, Part 1” is here) As you can tell from reading The Perfect Mate, Part 1, there really isn’t “the” perfect mate. Perhaps the most important notion to keep in mind is that the closest thing to perfection we can achieve in a relationship is providing a safe environment […]

CounselorLetter THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS: WHAT ARE THEY AND HOW DO THEY DIFFER? WHY DOES IT MATTER? WHAT THEY ARE AND HOW THEY DIFFER Thoughts: Thoughts convey to the listener what we are thinking. Sometimes these are referred to as cognitions. Thoughts and beliefs (another form of thought) usually precede our emotional or feeling state(s). The […]