At the beginning of a relationship it is easy for two people to connect with one another. We loved coming home at the end of the day and being asked:  “How was your day?” All the kisses, the hugs, the conversations, the sex, the whole nine yards felt sweeter than honey! With the passage of […]

It is often said that successful people do the things that unsuccessful people either don’t want to do, can’t do, or won’t do. I have found in all my years of doing counseling with couples, that the same axiom holds true for them: happy couples do the things that less happy or unhappy couples don’t […]

  Vulnerability has been linked almost exclusively to the expression of feelings.   Most couples who grace my office tell me that they want the other, usually the male partner, to be “more vulnerable.”  Often that means, “I want him to express his feelings.”  Well, yes, that is a good thing to do, but folks,  expressions […]

  One way to undercut a relationship is by not managing conflict effectively. And that will usually occur one of two ways: Either you are afraid of conflict, and avoid it, or your methods of managing conflict render you more like a bull in a china shop than like a loving partner. Both methods may […]

  Because we are social animals, and because it feels so good, we all want to get connected, be connected, and stay connected. But, we often forget, one of the primary reasons for being connected has to do with survival: Without connection, we simply do not survive. Problem is, it doesn’t seem to be that […]