November 1st, 2012
It never hurts to revisit an old topic, one that applies to every one of us: I am referring to effective conflict management. Three or four times a week I have a couple in my office and one of them says they are afraid of conflict. When I asked them what that means, typically […]
Tags: communication, conflict resolution, Defensiveness, help for couples, intimacy, menlo park counseling
Posted in CounselorLetter, General, Relationships | 6 Comments »
July 10th, 2012
Reducing Defensiveness There are several things that get in the way of relationship satisfaction, and I suppose it’s up for debate as to which one is the most destructive. The one I see most frequently in my office, usually on a daily basis, is defensiveness. From what I can tell, no one is immune–we ALL […]
Tags: being understood, communication, conflict, conflict resolution, couple in conflict, Defensiveness, intimacy, menlo park counseling
Posted in CounselorLetter, Relationships | 3 Comments »
December 11th, 2011
One way to undercut a relationship is by not managing conflict effectively. And that will usually occur one of two ways: Either you are afraid of conflict, and avoid it, or your methods of managing conflict render you more like a bull in a china shop than like a loving partner. Both methods may […]
Tags: communication, conflict, conflict avoidance, conflict resolution, fear of fighting, help for couples, menlo park counseling, Relationships, safe marriage couples conflict honesty
Posted in CounselorLetter, General, Relationships, Videos | No Comments »
October 10th, 2011
I have been in practice long enough to see many couples and families develop over the the past thirty years. While there are countless stories over a full range of of topics, one that greatly interests me involves divorce. Many couples and individuals have come to counseling after divorcing fifteen, twenty or twenty five years […]
Tags: communication, conflict, conflict resolution, couple in conflict, Couples, divorce, menlo park counseling, Relationships
Posted in CounselorLetter, Relationships | No Comments »
June 27th, 2011
The focus of this post is to elaborate on two related themes: One, the differences between resentful compliance and commitment; Two, how understanding those differences can alter the course of a relationship. Resentful Compliance Resentful compliance is an agreement that is not an agreement, but sounds like one. Right away you can see the potential […]
Tags: commitment, communication, compliance, conflict resolution, Couples, menlo park counseling, Relationships, resentful, resentful compliance, resentment
Posted in CounselorLetter, Relationships | 1 Comment »