Vulnerability has been linked almost exclusively to the expression of feelings.   Most couples who grace my office tell me that they want the other, usually the male partner, to be “more vulnerable.”  Often that means, “I want him to express his feelings.”  Well, yes, that is a good thing to do, but folks,  expressions […]

      Seems one person or the other of a couple wants the other one to read their mind. This is what they tell me in my office : “He should KNOW what I like/want/need without my having to tell him. If I have to tell him what I want, well, then it doesn’t mean […]

In my practice, I see so many couples who say they are seeking help for improving their communication skills. They work so hard adding to their communication tool belt, but typically feel disappointed that their relationships don’t seem to improve consistent with the number of communication techniques they’ve acquired. Well, that’s because there is so much more than at play […]

In “Sorry,” Part 1, I mentioned that apology is rare in some marriages. Why is that? After all, during courtship couples create a bond they dearly desire and strive to protect. I have heard many couples mention that apology occurred more frequently during courtship than during the entire span of the marriage. Here are some thoughts about infrequent/absent apology.