“We Need Communication Tools” Part II This is the second installment of a multi-part series spot-lighting some of the more common and complex, hard-to-break communication patterns most couples encounter at one time or another as they manage conflict. Possessing the tools for building a house does not necessarily mean you know how to build.  Without […]

What “We Don’t Communicate” Really Means Part I This is the first of a multi-part series spotlighting some of the more common and complex,  hard to break communication patterns most couples encounter at one time or another as they manage conflict. After thirty years in practice,  I notice the two most frequently made opening comments […]

Emotions Can Seem Tricky Like it or not, emotions, which can seem tricky, play a crucial role in the heat conflict. Here’s a way to deal with the way emotions can be confusing when you manage conflict. Anger seems to be the feeling most often expressed while under stress with our partners. So, consider this: […]

Conflict Perspectives Conflict in committed relationships is ubiquitous. All manner of resolution and management skills are at our disposal, but perhaps the one element we focus on the least is conflict perspective. When in conflict, regardless with whom, three distinct perspectives are possible. One, we can view the situation from only our own perspective. Two, […]

In my practice, I see so many couples who say they are seeking help for improving their communication skills. They work so hard adding to their communication tool belt, but typically feel disappointed that their relationships don’t seem to improve consistent with the number of communication techniques they’ve acquired. Well, that’s because there is so much more than at play […]