What REALLY Changes A Relationship?

It is often said that successful people do the things that unsuccessful people either don’t want to do, can’t do, or won’t do. I have found in all my years of doing counseling with couples, that the same axiom holds true for them: happy couples do the things that less happy or unhappy couples don’t […]


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Avoid Fighting–The Recipe

  It never hurts to revisit an old topic, one that applies to every one of us: I am referring to effective conflict management. Three or four times a week I have a couple in my office and one of them says they are afraid of conflict. When I asked them what that means, typically […]


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Re-Building Trust

How To Re-Build Trust   As you can see by the title, the word “re-build” implies that the trust between the two of may have been damaged.  The damage may range from minimal to substantial. The range of events that can have a negative impact on trust goes from minor things that we say we […]


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Little Things Make BIG Differences

Turns out that it’s the little things that make the biggest differences in the day to day routine with our partners/spouses that leave a couple feeling closer to, and safer with, each other. Try the following, and note the responses: –Catch your partner in the act of doing something you like and point it out… […]


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What Vulnerability REALLY Means

  Vulnerability has been linked almost exclusively to the expression of feelings.   Most couples who grace my office tell me that they want the other, usually the male partner, to be “more vulnerable.”  Often that means, “I want him to express his feelings.”  Well, yes, that is a good thing to do, but folks,  expressions […]


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